Tired Teacher
How can I care for myself as I care for others?
Teaching is exhausting at the end of the year. If you even ran a marathon ( I “ran” and finished the LA Marathon three times.) Then you know around miles 18-22 that the legs begin to feel heavy, thoughts fog up, and feelings of defeat may creep into the previous runner’s high mind. It feels brutal and a few people quit although most people finish marathons.
Teachers rarely quit the last few weeks of school but they may take a sick day. Rightly deserved I say. Our bodies and minds and hearts and spirits are tired. I just got through testing and it is almost time for finals. Our students are exhausted too but we all keep trudging and say with bright manic eyes, “We got this, so lock in!”
I have three more days of the resident teacher teaching the class all day. I've done my best to stay away but I miss the kids, seniors need to finish their finals, and I'm a mama bear trying to make sure every senior makes it to graduation. A few may not, they may have to do summer school, but that's their journey. I know I did my best to support them all year.
Our last day of school, June 5th, still feels far away. Last night, the special education interns (year 2) I work with on Zoom in the evenings all chose the exhausted squirrel picture check-in. We had a guest and the teacher's eyes glazed over as they listened to her wax on and on about teacher theory. They just wanted to get their work done and go to bed.
What sustains me? The letters from students, pictures from Grad Night and prom, and the kids. They are still our kids even though some of them have already turned eighteen. They are kids so I focus on them, not me. See, it isn't about me.
That's my favorite part about teaching. When I'm teaching, I get outside of self. So today I will get out of this damn bubble bath, feed and walk my dog, go to the gym, and then get to our school.
Today, I have a staff meeting until 9 am. It is late start so kids come at 9:30 am. This is the last day for seniors to turn in their finals. I will be checking on them and their grades. Our weekly elective, which runs for an hour and a half, is an At the Movies film criticism class. So we will begin the original Beetlejuice, eat popcorn, and drink Capri Suns. I will play waitress as Mr. Resident Teacher introduces the film and written assignment that allows us to eat our popcorn and drink our sun. Then at 2 pm when the kids go home, I will run to Costco, pick up the senior cake for tomorrow, run home, go to therapy, teach another class to exhausted special education interns (year 1), and fall asleep at 7:30 pm.
How do you care for yourself as you care for others?